“Is a bird happier than a clam?” I break the silence completely unprompted.
“What?” I can almost hear my friend repeat this all too quirky-hypothetical-rhetoric back to me. “Is a bird happier than a clam.” He states not as a question as he sorta half puts down the day’s USA Today. It doesn’t LOOK like a grin and to the untrained soul it might appear to be annoyance as he peers over the rim of his specs. But I know “amused but way too strong to admit I’ve fallen prey to the silly. I’ve gotten used to it. Not only does it not bother me…I kind of…well…I mean…if it goes away…I won’t MISS it necessarily but I would have to….ahhh…adjust.” when I see it. I saw it that day as we sat in a busy café waiting for what would be the “HOLY MUTHER” of all things bread pudding. (Free Travel Tip: (Who needs Samantha Brown?) If you are in the Buckhead area of Atlanta, GA. Even if it’s not meal time…even if you are on a health food kick…even if you are not a foodie and you don’t adventure eat (I don’t judge you, I embrace you in your lost state of food normalness and encourage you allow yourself to be brought into the fold. There is love here dear one.) If you get a chance, go into OK Café and order the Banana Bread Pudding. OH EMMM GEEE! Take it home and savor every last drop of that caramel glazy goodness dripping down the sides. Don’t allow some sissy girl to talk you into sharing. Order your own! You will not be sorry. Moving on…
If you are privy to my random acts of nonsense then perhaps you have received a text or seen a post from me (or one of your other quirky super smarty pants friends) that read “today I hope you are as happy as a bird with a french-fry”. I don’t really know how happy a bird is when he or she is flying about with a carb-laden strip of salty greasy goodness but if a bird’s capacity for joy over junk food is even half the size of mine I’m going to say a bird with a french-fry is pretty dang happy. As for clams…I have no clue-yet their happiness is something to be metaphorically mentioned. I don’t really care to google the origin. (went back, couldn't stand it, I found out why and it makes sense but keep reading for now anyway please) I just say I don’t know how happy clams are. I disclaim how happy I am when eating a clam and speculate that historically they are happy creatures. So if sea food is your thing-and you watched that Hitchcock movie so you hate birds- then by all means…I hope you are happy as a clam. OR….perhaps a hippo. Purely speculation on my part but I believe hippos are happy. I even think happier than clams. I have reasons (of course I do) and if the choice were presented to me “AK, would you rather be a hippo or a clam?” I would answer with quickness, “Hippo! And for how long?”
Here are my reasons: The hippo smiles, (yea I think they smile) peering just barely over the surface of the water in all their giantness..calm, steady, slowly navigating the waters in which they live-thick skinned and secure. knowing she is not to appear on a Long John Silvers menu any time soon. Yep, I choose hippo. I ask "how long?" because I would like to know if it’s temporary or for ever. I mean, let’s face it, no matter what your lot in life being a people is the best. I love animals but people are the best kind-I think. I mean…regardless of your situation, no matter what was done or was not done or what will be done to you in the future…no matter who you know or haven’t met or what goals you have yet to accomplish or what failures you are sorting through. You are here now, the superior being to all other animals on the planet. Reading. and using the interwebs..perhaps while you should be working-right? (I won't tell) Seriously though, today is a happy day and today in deed! I know hard days and weeks and errr…uhhh… echh hmmm…years like this past one come, but at the end of it all…I myself…I am happy. Happy as a clam. Happy as a bird. or…yea…happy as a hippo. And for you, my friends, I wish the same. I wish for a happy day. And I wish for you to be happy. Happy as….a…. people.